Life is an infinity
You would think that in the age that one is typically supposed to have a mid-life crisis, I would not be having a mid-life lightbulb moment, something like discovering what it means to be me! But I guess, life is funny that way. We are always taught, exposed to set patterns, forced by life and circumstances at times to believe that we all live a certain way, or are meant to, only to realize one fine day that, well, that is not true. Nowhere near it even. I will not say this realization is possible without life allowing you the opportunity to do so. I’m not generalizing here.. many others could perhaps do it, but I do not think I would have.. without life giving me some time to breathe, start the journey to healing, forgiveness and giving the heart to understand the world in and around me.
The process of living is continuous is what I’m observing in the timespan that I have lived, of course we age and there is a continuity to some lives yes, but I specifically refer to the continuity here to be a circle. Not the karma circle which does follow you around, doesn’t matter the geometric shape, but what I have observed more is the touch points in one’s life resembling a circular shape. Let me try to explain.. You take up a course when you were a kid because your school asked that you do it, you pick up a talent when you were young because your mom wanted you to, or of course unlike me, you were truly interested in it (not much interested me when I was a kid, I was a lonely introvert who was truly weird, but yes there was my paintbox) only to move on to other things in life, and years later you find that you are back to those skills or talent you picked up sometime back and all of a sudden it all makes sense. There are times I have wondered why the f*** I’m doing something or learning something new, only for me to realize the answer to the question much much later in life.
For some reason these circular experiences give me a lot of comfort. In the sense that nothing is ever really lost. You might think you learnt, loved, met, missed, lost or a myriad other somethings or someones, rejoice or grieve the process that you had to go through, but they are all in passing. You are passing them by, not I think, the other way. If you need them and truly need them, you probably could always find what you are looking for, and when needed for your inner growth, they might find you too. The circle is never the same, though I mention the shape we traverse as a circle :) It is just a way for me to say that if you have observed life, you might have noticed that life often does come full circle. And perhaps all those circles interconnect to an infinity where they meet and thereby everything is around, you know.. Infinity as I see it is just two circles that touch each other and continue on to more circles :) The end is the beginning to another and we keep on going. Learning, Loving, Growing and always together. The essence of our lives and the lives we have lived, are living, and will live is never lost. Everything we experienced, all our loved ones and our love and heart, is all around us. Our various versions of who we identified or did not, in various phases of our life, are all around us and we meet ourselves again at the end of the circle, only to carry on as another version, hopefully more wiser. I don’t think you exit it unless there is that growth.
Our lives are truly infinite isn’t it in that sense? When we sense life has come full circle, perhaps, we are at the start of another infinity?